MY HUBBY LOVES ME

My hubby calls me a crook

But I am, by the virtue of being married, a cook

He called in for cheese omelet and toasts, as his regular breakfast goes

I served him exactly his hearts’ desire

He broke hell, nerve wrecked went shouting in despair

Ok so what if the omelets refused to leave the pan and the toasts were a bit tanned

To make up for the loss I called him once, twice, a whole of twenty times

But he still frets

In the midst of the annual report discussion, to duck the awkwardness of my calls,

He by mistake, flung his mobile, in the tonic shake, what a fall?

I called to apologize for my unintended but love soaked misconduct

But he wouldn’t take that for an answer

My huge heartedness and unadulterated passion for him gave my wings another flight

And to set everything right, I turned the steering of his dream machine, his choicest wish, right to the market

Tonight he’ll love me like never before, flowers, fish n chips, scotch on rocks and the Armani jacket

I was prepared to steer back home, lost in dreams of a rosy night,

I bumped into the auto rickshaw……but the scratches and the dent on his bmw gave me a jitter enough to face the sight

Swallowing a large lump of guilt I entered the house

Laid the table, put on the scented candles, infused the room with lavender

Wore the perfect linen but couldn’t feign the blush so tender

The moment I saw him walk in, hugged him, kissed him

Accept the token of my love

In the dim of the room all he could do is smell and not flee

He started to sneeze profusely,

What’s wrong with you, I am allergic to roses, how could you not see

Well I swapped the lillies with the roses

You troublemaker, I am going out for a drive with my new baby

Just when he was about to walk out of the bedroom, I screamed

You can strangle me tonight if you want, maybe

But your car has a dent

He collapsed in the couch, I showed him my hurt finger but he cared the least

His nerve dropped, pulse sank

I wanted to make amends but I chose to stand aside, watch him pant

Are you going to kill me, I asked in dejection

He said no, I am going to kill all the opportunities that you take to show your love and affection

Please do not make me happy, I am happy without it

And next time you feel like loving me, tell me in advance,

I’ll move around in full protection